"What do you want out of Life?" is not something I recall ever being asked to even contemplate until I found myself lost on the path I had already chosen.
True to American values, I grew up to conflate identity, happiness, and "a life" with a career. Career choices were defined by what was socially acceptable and comfortable for those in my closest community circle. As humans, we are conditioned for survival to assimilate with community norms. As a result, I knew very early on that my interest in art was not going to be supported as a career path, so I pursued art-adjacent industries as more long-term sustainable, viable options. This isn't inherently negative and certainly has led me to success, but I began adulthood conditioned to pursue Option B as the "safer route" than to follow my intuition or seek out a support system for navigating my Option A. This happens to a lot of people. In fact, I would argue that many people don't have a clear understanding of what [their] Option A would even be in the first place.
'Option A', not just in the context of a career but in Life, is made up of a few under-identified components. We have to be able to identify not just our interests, but what it is about our interest(s) that holds our attention. We have to understand our strengths - what do we demonstrate a high aptitude or competency for? And third, we have to know what we value as a mark of character; the operating principles that we want to uphold as we apply our strengths to our interests. At Slow Living Solutions, our work begins by defining these key components so we can eventually articulate what 'Option A' really encompasses and how to iterate on it over time.
I was fortunate enough to grow up in a household that was very encouraging of exploration of a number of interests and pursuits. But I also understand how my pursuits and strengths (art, english, psychology, dance, theatre, etc.) didn't translate into what would be considered a conventional or stable vocation... and therein lay the rub.
We neither generationally, nor as a society do a particularly good job at helping children to clearly identify their strengths or discover their interests at an early age; not just in the formal education system, but as parents and supporting adults as well. Adults are not keen on watching their children struggle, much less fail or be disappointed. We probably received parenting like this of our own. Parents know the strife that comes with disappointment from their own lived experience - perhaps you can relate. But if we aren't encouraged to explore our interests at the risk of failure, we inherently aren't encouraged to explore our interests at the reward of discovering our strengths either.
Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline explains that people who achieve what they truly seek in life have high levels of personal mastery. He describes personal mastery as "the discipline of continuous growth and learning... approaching one's life as a creative [work] rather than a reactive viewpoint (Senge, 2006). But to do so, we have to be able to identify 3 things:
What are your core values?
What are your strengths?
What are your interests?
At any age, putting words to these 3 components creates a gateway for further discussion of where they overlap with one another. The vision for yourself that personal mastery seeks to achieve is the amalgamation of your core values being demonstrated through applying your strengths to your interests.
The Slow Living Solutions Envisioning Model (shown left) is the first layer of exploration that Slow Living Solutions clients work through as part of the Foundations Series. Through a series of exercises, clients work to identify and put language to what their core values are and how those values align to their time and behavioral investments (i.e. the application of their strengths and interests).
Finding ourselves in misalignment with our core values can be a source of major emotional and psychological strife. Analyzing our time and behavioral priorities in relation to our core values allows us to intentionally apply the appropriate amount of effort for what we derive from each and with respect to each priority's perceived importance. This is the first step to clarifying our vision and beginning life-crafting in action.
Life-crafting consists of the highly intentional steps we take to close the gap between our current life state and the vision we have for ourselves. It is perhaps for some of us, an act of rebellion against societal constructs. But more importantly, it is inherently an act of resiliency. Life Crafting according to Schippers MC and Ziegler N, 2019 is "a process in which people actively reflect on their present and future life, set goals for important areas of life—social, career, and leisure time—and, if required, make concrete plans and undertake actions to change these areas in a way that is more congruent with their values and wishes."
In short, personal mastery is the [form of] discipline we apply to our life crafting actions/activities. At Slow Living Solutions, we teach you how to do this. It takes a lot of courage to not just want something greater out of your life, but to pursue your greater life vehemently. Our vision at Slow Living Solutions is to supply people with the tools, strategies, and support to make their visions come true.
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